Rule of Marriage #7

It was early afternoon the other day. I was hungry. Foraging through the fridge, I found nothing I wanted. I pulled open the freezer door and before me stood the solution to my hunger problem.

Ice Cream.

'Twas not yet four o'clock, but the vanilla ice cream called to me. Hurriedly, I grabbed a bowl from the cabinet, retrieved the ice cream scoop from the door, and proceeded to scoop out the small amount of ice cream left in the tub.

I discarded the ice cream tub and sat down at the table to enjoy my mid-afternoon snack. My wife emerged from the office and saw me savoring each bite.

"Where's mine?" she asked quizically.

I wiped the ice cream from my lips and replied, "There's none left. This is it." Without thinking, I returned my attention to the bowl.

"But I want some," she said. Pressing on, I told her, "Sorry sweetheart."

Not sensing I was in any immediate danger, I kept my focus on my ice cream.

BAM! A couch pillow struck the side of my head, knocked the glasses from my face, and caused me to drop my spoon. Unsure of what just happened, I placed my glasses back on my face and looked for the spoon. After grabbing the spoon, I sat up to protest the sudden beating I had just taken. My wife stood before me beaming an uncontainable smile.

She was eating the ice cream. I had been duped. The old, beat-your-man-senseless to get his ice cream attack worked. She hummed a little tune of appreciation and walked back into the office to enjoy my ice cream.

So, Rule of Marriage #7 is simply this: Never, ever, finish off the last of the ice cream without offering a bowl to your wife. It may save your life.