The Pizza Incident

I helped my best friend move out of his apartment today. We finished after several hours of work and decided to buy a pizza for dinner. I called the local Papa John’s pizzeria to order a pizza. I informed the young lady that I had a coupon for 2 large 1-topping pizzas at an incredible price of $14.99. I then provided her with the coupon code and she told me that the final price would be $16.10.

Twenty minutes later, my best friend and I are waiting in line to pick up our order. After watching the young lady take 10 minutes to help the gentleman in front of us, I sensed trouble. Finally, it was our turn at the counter.

Me: Hi, we’re here to pick up our order. It’s under the name, Michael.

The young lady takes a look at the orders. Scanning, scanning. She returns with a dumbfounded look on her face like she’s never heard the name Michael before.

Me: Perhaps it’s under my wife’s name, Christa.

She returns to the stack of pizzas. Scanning, scanning. She returns with an even dumber look on her face. She shrugs her shoulders.

Pizza Girl: Are you sure you ordered it from here?

Me (Thinking): Relax, it’s an honest mistake. She’ll fix it.

Me: Yes. I spoke to you and gave you the coupon code.

Pizza Girl: What’s your phone number?

I provide her with the phone number. I swear I see a light bulb appear above her head.

Pizza Girl: Here it is. It’s under your wife’s name, Crystal.

Me (Thinking): Relax, it’s an honest mistake. We’ll have the pizza soon.

The Pizza Girl retrieves the two pizzas. My best friend hands her the coupon.

Pizza Girl: That’ll be $16.10.

My best friend hands her his bankcard. She starts typing keys on the computer. Again, a dumbfounded look springs forth on her head. She calls out to her manager for help.

Manager: What did you order, sir?

Me: The two pizzas in front of you.

He starts typing keys. Pizza Girl has now transitioned from the dumbfounded look to a more, “I’m-completely-overwhelmed” visage. At this time, my best friend asks for a 2 liter bottle of orange soda to be added to the order. The pizza girl grabs the soda from the large refrigerator and places it on the counter. She begins to type again.

Pizza Girl (holding the aforementioned coupon): That’ll be $26.64.

Me and my best friend: NO.

My best friend: Since when does orange soda cost ten dollars?

Me: You’re holding the coupon. It says 2 large pizzas for $14.99.

Pizza Girl’s face goes blank. All transmission towers have collapsed. The thoughts no longer process. She types again. We are befuddled at the sight of a human's brain actually shutting off. We have also been trying to purchase the pizza for over ten minutes now.

Pizza Girl (still holding the aforementioned coupon): Sorry, that’ll be $24.14.

Me and my best friend: Nooooooo.

I feel like the roadside Captain from Cool Hand Luke.

Me (thinking): What we have here is a failure to communicate!

Me: Run the coupon. It says $14.99. The soda bottle is $1.99. That means the order will be around $18 dollars.

The Pizza Girl finally realizes that she does have the coupon. She quickly enters the coupon code, scans the soda pop.

Pizza Girl: That’ll be $18.64.

We finally pay and leave the store. We were in the store for a grand total of twenty two minutes. It took longer to pick up the pizza than it did for it to be made. Well, there is an ending of interesting sorts: As soon as we left the store, six new customers walked into the pizzeria. That should be fun for the Pizza Girl.

Hopefully, they don’t have coupons.