Calvin

There's a classic scene from the movie Tombstone, the 1993 Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer vehicle. Doc Holiday, smoothly and sickly portrayed by a convincing Val Kilmer, is playing poker at the beginning of the movie. One of the individuals partaking in the game, Ed, accuses Holiday of cheating. Holiday, his face ghostly white--the results of tuberculosis--calmly looks up and replies: "Why Ed...are we cross?"

Apropos of this introduction, I would like to tell a story about an occurrence at the swimming pool two days ago. My wife, her sister, her sister's husband, my best friend and I decided to go swimming. We headed down to the pool, towels in hand, to enjoy an hour or so of warm blue water.

There were a few people at the pool, not uncommon for 6 0'clock in the evening. The sky was overcast and the heated pool created a nice contrast of temperature sensations on the skin. We bounced around the pool, talked, swam a little, and generally enjoyed ourselves.

At one end of the pool, a small, blond-hair child was swimming with his father. His father, a plump, probably late 30ish--early 40ish gentleman, was wearing the traditionally cool pair of Ray Ban sunglasses. I cannot pull of such a cool look in the pool. The father was imploring his child to jump from the edge of the pool into the deep end. The child, wearing yellow plastic floaties on his upper arms, was more than happy to oblige. Like a young Knieval, the child leaped from the edge and splashed down into the pool and towards his awaiting father.

After diving in, my brother-in-law casually said to the father: "That's pretty impressive." The father nodded in agreement and told us that, "You should have seen him 3 weeks ago; he would claw onto my arm and not let go of me in the pool." At the same time, the little boy swam away from us (he was actually quite impressive for a 3 year-old). Looking out at his son, the dad asked, "Hey, tell everyone your name." The kid stopped swimming, turned, and began floating about 15 feet away from us. He looked at my sister-in-law and asked:

"Hi. What's your name?"
"Hanna."
"Hi Hanna. I'm Calvin."
"Hi Calvin, nice to meet you."

Turning to her husband, he asked:
"Hi. What's your name?"
"Dillon."
"Hi Dillon. I'm Calvin."
"Hi Calvin, nice to meet you."

He paddled his arms and looked at my best friend:
"Hi. What's your name?"
"Nick."
"Hi Nick. I'm Calvin."
"Hi Calvin, nice to meet you."

Continuing his long introduction, he glanced at my wife:
"Hi. What's your name?"
"Christa."
"Hi Christa. I'm Calvin."
"Hi Calvin, nice to meet you."
Finally, he turned to me:

"Hi. What's your name?"
"Mike."
"Hi Mike. I'm Calvin."
"Hi Calvin, nice to meet you."

At this point, his sweet voice had overtaken our small area of the pool. It was a touching scene of innocence. Now, because of Calvin's petite size and high-pitched voice (and overall cuteness factor) we all began laughing at his wonderful introduction. Not quite flamboyant, but filled with personality--Calvin was a hit among his five twenty-something counterparts.

Suddenly, Calvin's disposition soured and his eyebrows turned inward in anger. His dad asked him: "Calvin what's the matter?"

"I'm mad at them."

"Why?" His dad asked soothingly.

"Because they're laughing at me." (I think I was really laughing at him).

Other than me, I think we were laughing at how charming he was. Calvin did not take the laughter in stride and began swimming towards the exit ladder at the side of the pool. His dad was grinning and implored Calvin, "C'mon Calvin, they're not laughing at you." Calvin, now out of the pool, turned and said, "Yes, they are." His stubbornness was quite astounding--but he was astute (I was laughing at him...is it wrong to laugh at a 3 year-old's wonderful presence?)

His dad again tried to get Calvin back into the pool said, "Calvin, these are your friends. They want to see you swim. Why don't you come and swim with them?" Calvin, his eyes narrowed, quickly crossing his arms across his chest, insolently channeled Doc Holiday: "No, I'm not swimming. I'm cross at them."

Even Val Kilmer would have had a hard time crafting such a performance.